So its late... i saw mannequins and took a picture. They summed up something Im seeing over and over.
Im sleepy.
no money,
not much food... Time to make those decisions i need to make and then something nice happens. Someone said ' ive never seen you so fragile ' after i night i had where i was excited and enjoying myself.
define "fragility"
What is the definition of fragility: the quality or state of being easily broken or destroyed
I am not easily broken and i am certainly not about to be destroyed.
It has a grave and urbane air about it now. All of life is putting on some kind of act or another & now I'm beginning to find it near impossible to anything other than myself. Rush to define it if you like. But i wouldn't . It all seems to trigger some kind of sadness that pervades the streets and faces i see in everyday life... like I'm sort of just witnessing it all as a voyeur never truly apart of it.
Like the couple on the bus home.. drunk and curled up... one crying and one with a deadness in his eyes. They seemed to comfort each other but it looked empty to me, he was bored.. she was crying.. it was like watching a bad soap opera. Dull soulless dancing. I recognised i have played both those roles.
I don't intend for this to sound so depressing.. I'm actually truly quite invigorated but this aspect of life, and it should be acknowledged.But There is strength in sadness and there is music in privacy. Sleep calls.
