Cancer Connect

Belfast - August 2009 - Cancer Connect Mannequins.

Since moving back to Belfast, I have been spending my time volunteering with 2 organisations.

The First is Cancer connect, a cancer charity that helps other charities too. I work in the shop that my friend Anne runs, she was in London this weekend so I've been keeping the shop going while she has been away. Today i painted and repaired the mannequins.. i think they look fun.

anyway.. I'm also working for Belfast Exposed, invigilating art exhibitions and in return i get to use their dark rooms, chemicals and photographic equipment.. this is amazing..

they have been fun ways to fill my days leading up to the rehearsals for my play BISON.

we start work on that in about 2 weeks..

I am sleepy now so no point in rambling. 

RANKINlive

Me by Rankin. London - Dazed and Confused studios - Old St. London.

Odd.. that i wanted this portrait to mark the era in my life... and it ended up doing it in a more poetic meaningful way that i could have intended. I was in the middle of the most painful relationship, and id just moved to London. bitter sweet, bitter endings.. or something to that effect..

this photograph taken by Rankin.. at about noon.... i had vodka for breakfast with Leila, and 2 Valium and we got a taxi to speed down Old Street in east London to Rankin's Studio, we laughed and felt fun.. we always did when my boyfriend was away. I always wanted those memories of London, and i got them. 

subsequently, after meeting me... i was asked to work with Rankin Directing several behind the scenes short films for him and to intern. Turns out i like getting paid more than doing cool jobs. Anyway... makes a nice story.

There is always tomorrow.

Odd that i think of him tonight, we finished many months ago. But i loved him, i moved to London for him. I wish id known he was such a vapid venomous person then.

you learn..

R.i.p. Chez

someone emailed something touching..

THIS IS THE EMAIL

Forgive me for randomly messaging you but I just wanted to say that your bed picture is raw, sad but beautiful and I dont mean that in a pervy way.

It has strangely envoked emotion from me - like I am viewing a picture that I have stumbled across within a coffee table book and thought "I wonder who he is, where he's from and what his life meant"

I don't know why I am thanking you for displaying it but 'Thank You' - lol

Have a nice weekend 

C

Time enough..

' I heard you say underneath your breath, some kind of prayer. 

I heard you say underneath your breath that you never want to feel this way about anybody else'

London July 16th.

you close your eyes, and hope that this is just imagination.

Today i left.

"I have another duty equally sacred...My duty to myself." -Nora Helmer, Act III

Last night, i spent a special evening with the man im in love with, and i got to spend a brief moment with Gillian Anderson her talent has always inspired me. Today im trying to find some inspiration to leave this city. To be gone from someone you love for 3 months is hard.

my thoughts and words are so upside down at this moment that i dont know what else to say. I have to close my case and travel and ignore that it hurts this much.